Don't be afraid to be Orthodox

Restored icon of Abbot Menas and Christ

"And as we have received the soul as a deposit, let us preserve it for the Lord, that He may recognize His work as being the same as He made it" - St Athanasius, Life of St Antony






Recently, and throughout Church history, people have been getting caught up on words. Words are important. In our Orthodox Church, we were at odds with each other because of a single letter that changed what we believed. You know what’s just as important? The meaning behind those words. If someone uses a toothbrush to clean their tires, does that change the original purpose of the toothbrush? It works for them, but it’s original purpose was to clean teeth. Just because someone uses it for something else, does that mean you will stop using it? No. So why do we do this when it comes to the Church. Don’t be afraid and put the toothbrush away. Use it for its purpose and reaffirm it.



Grace - Growing up, I have not heard about the grace of God nearly as much as the 'works' part. Yes, St James says "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" (James 2:26). It's true, faith without works IS dead, but does that mean we ignore the faith part? Let's use his example, the body without the spirit is dead, but can the spirit (not soul, but the spirit which gives the body actual life and movement) do anything without the body? No. Why are we scared to talk about God's grace?! We're so scared of how other religions or people have used the term, that sadly we are afraid to speak on it. Yes, we need works, but as Acts 15:11 says "But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved in the same manner as they.”

Don't be afraid, talk about God's Grace.

Praise and Worship - If you attend an orthodox church in America, you probably get a few eye rolls if you use this term. Again, just like 'grace', it doesn't matter how other people or religions use the term. PRAISE AND WORSHIP IS A GOOD THING! What Christian does not offer up praise to God? We talk about "a mercy of peace, a sacrifice of praise"

Fr Thomas Hopko writes:

In addition to being the perfect peace offering, Jesus is also the only adequate sacrifice of praise that men can offer to God. There is nothing comparable in men to the graciousness of God. There is nothing with which men can worthily thank and praise the Creator. This is so even if men would not be sinners. Thus God himself provides men with their own most perfect sacrifice of praise. The Son of God becomes genuinely human so that human persons could have one of their own nature sufficiently adequate to the holiness and graciousness of God. Again this is Christ, the sacrifice of praise.

Praise is God-centric. Worship is God-centric.

Also, Fr Alexander Schmemmann refers to humans as 'doxological and eucharistic beings'. It's an innate character of us to offer 'doxa' or 'praise'. What is a eucharistic being? Coming directly from the Eucharist, and the table of thanksgiving where the Lord shows us that true worship is Eucharistic, from the sacrament of the Eucharist. We are called to live sacramentally, how are we to do this if we separate worship from everything we do? Yes our primary worship is in the Eucharist, but once we partake of it, it fills our whole being and then we, through the Eucharist, are able to go into the world and express our worship to God in everything that we do.

Don't be afraid, we all offer up praise and worship God.

Theosis - Now really, if you even think of this word in our church, you better pack your bags because you're outta here! Again, the common problem we have today is how other people may have started to use and define the word, and we forget what it originally meant.

St Athanasius writes:

...but rather let him recognize the fact and marvel that things divine have been revealed to us by such humble means, that through death deathlessness has been made known to us, and through the Incarnation of the Word the mind whence all things proceed has been declared, and its Agent an Ordainer, the Word of God Himself. He, indeed, assumed humanity that we might become God.

At first, as Coptic Christians, we have a tendency to just dismiss this because of how it was used. I am not taking a stance. I am no scholar, have no formal Christian education, and I'm not trying to make any statements - but I was taught from a young age that the Christian life is a process of restoration. We are to be restored to God's image. This is why the initial quote from St Athanasius is very important. Let's look back at the meaning of what our fathers have taught us, rather than what some may make of it.

Let us preserve it, he writes, so that God may recognize it as being the same as He made it.

Let's not be so quick to dismiss an idea or terminology just because it's used a different way. Let's use everything as God had intended it and created it. Don't let the world or others take away what is ours. Take back what is yours. Terminology, phrases, art, music, whatever it may be. But know this, God's grace is for us. He took flesh and suffered death in the flesh for us, and we offer up praise and worship that is due to Him. All this so that one day we may reunite with Him.

Don't be afraid, God wants us to commune with Him and be one with Him. 

Is Jesus asleep on your boat?

"Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!'" Matthew 8:23-25

There are times in our lives where things are going so hectic and not according to our plans and just ruin everything, and all we want to do is say "Jesus, where are you!?" Haven't we all felt at times that Jesus was asleep on a pillow in the midst of our problems? Ever feel like you're boat was 'covered with waves'? If you think the ideal Christian life is one where there are no problems and no feeling of abandonment, I would have to disagree. If you've ever felt struggles, isolation, or deserted - you're in good company. Jesus, St Paul, Mother Teresa, and many others have felt like that - and its absolutely normal!

A great story I heard once illustrates the sense of the peace and calm I'm trying to focus on.  There was once a king who asked his countrymen to draw what 'peace' really meant. Many people brought to him many paintings - doves, rainbows, beaches, flowers.. but it just didn't settle with him.  Then he saw one drawing - it looked like a mess. There wasn't a single blank space on the painting. It was a mixture of colors and storms and wars and earthquakes and everything. Just in the center of all this chaos was a small tree, with a small branch, with a small nest, with a mother bird covering her egg. This was the image he chose to hang in his palace. He knew that the real sense of peace and comfort came along with the storm, not apart from it.

"There was such a terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead" Mother Teresa writes in Come Be My Light. At times, she may not have felt God's presence in her life, but others surely have. This is a great reflection of the true Apostolic Faith - service to others and obedience to God, no matter how we feel. If God only loved us when we were 'good' to Him, boy would that story be short.

I pray I can understand and really live according to this mentality. If we were faithful only during the times we had a reason to be, then it wouldn't be faith at all - it would be logic. Its those dark times which when we would be faithful, is when we can move mountains and stir the hearts of others - they wouldn't understand why we feel this way in the tough situation we may be faced with, which is all the more reason to believe.

"If my separation from You brings others to You, and in their love and company You find joy and pleasure, why , Jesus, I am willing with all my heart to suffer all that I suffer - not only for now but for eternity - if this was possible." Mother Teresa

If God uses the bad in our life for good, then why can't we?

Breaking Bread

"If we are to be what Christ is, and Christ is the bread of life whose body is broken and blood spilled for the food of the faithful, that’s what we must become ourselves." - Mother Teresa


"We need to do more." These words have been ringing in my ear for a few days now. One of the people I look up to recently told me this, after the passing of one of our friends at a young age. This really got me to re-evaluate everything I'm doing - not just in church or at home or at work, but in every aspect of my life. 

I was listening to a lecture series by Fr Thomas Hopko, called the Word of the Cross, and it really opened my eyes to the above quote by Mother Teresa. Fr Thomas had mentioned that in a recording, he heard Mother Teresa say this to her novices, "If you’re here cause you want to help people, you want to be a do-gooder, you want to feel good about your life — don’t come, we’re not here for that. If you’re here for social improvement, or recreating the planet — don’t come here, we’re not for that. We’re here for one thing: to show the love of God in Christ to people, in the way Christ did. Period" Sounds simple, right? How did Christ show love? 

It's an old commandment to love one another or to love your neighbor as yourself, but when Christ came - he suggested something else. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another" - John 13:34. So, did you catch what the 'new' part of the commandment was? Jesus commands us to do it one way, the same way He did. Again, sounds simple, right? God did this one way, by dying for us on the cross. He broke himself like bread and spilled out his blood for all of us to be redeemed, and it's about time we do the same.

In the Orthodox Liturgy, at one particular part where all the congregants are bowing their heads, the priest prays "that Your Holy Spirit may descend upon US and upon these gifts set forth, and purify them, change them, and manifest them as a sanctification of Your saints" Not only is the Holy Spirit called to turn the bread and wine into Body and Blood, but also to transform you and me! For what reason? I assume the same as the the Body and Blood of Christ.. to be a sanctification for others and to be broken for others. 

Break yourselves for others. What does that mean? We all like to do things for others when it's convenient, change that. We give money when we have extra, we give time when we're bored, we choose to serve when there is a spotlight on us. That expression "give until it hurts" is what we need to do. When is the last time we gave money when we didn't know how the bills were going to be paid? When was the last time we sacrificed our comfortable 9 hour sleep to stay up and help someone. When was the last time we drove an hour out of the way to give someone a ride. No pain, no gain, right? Break yourselves for others..

"I am the wheat of God, and am ground by the teeth of the wild beasts, that I may be found the pure bread of God"- St Ignatius of Antioch 

I'm speaking mainly to myself here, but enough is enough. Enough sermons, blogs, ministries, and any other distraction hindering us to be the changing agent for others, with Christ inside us to do so. The world around us is full of despair and hurt; it is thirsting and hungering for something it can't find. We need to provide the Bread of Life to fulfill its needs.. but to do so we are not only supposed to give bread, but to become ourselves bread, broken for others. 

Bite your tongue!

"True escape from the world is for a person to know how to control his tongue, wherever he might be" Abba Tithoes

Recently, I came across an article about human sex-trafficking that really disturbed me. The issue itself is a major problem on its own, besides what happens as a result of it - to the family, the girls, their future. As I read the article, I kept getting more and more sick to my stomach. Why would someone make a beautiful young girl do this? You'd think that maybe a regular person would not be able to relate to something like sex-trafficking, until I continued to read on.

 "I've always been viewed as a h*. Once you’re called something enough, it’s like ‘Well, I already am.’ ”

Can you believe that? From the amount of times she was called something, she kind of took on that form because it was all she heard! What I've seen recently starting with middle school kids, possibly even earlier, is that friends call friends with all these types of derogatory terms. It starts off with things that we think are okay, such as 'dummy, idiot, etc' and turns into 'b****, sl** wh***' - all common jargon in a public school hallway nowadays. Even being around that can hurt us. St Antony the Great said, "Whoever receives a man speaking evil or a calumniator, associates with a murderer." Did you catch that? Associates with a MURDERER!

One story my priest told me once, and I'll never forget, has to do with controlling what we say --
There was once a boy who used to curse a lot to others, and his father told him that for every curse he said, he had to put a nail in the fence surrounding their house. Before you know it, the whole fence was full. The young boy noticed his wrongdoing and tried to change. His father told him that for every day he didn't curse, he could take a nail out of the fence. Finally, after a long time, the fence was clear of all the nails. 'Daddy, daddy, look! the nails are gone!' His father was very pleased, but told the son, 'Now, take a look at the fence, all the nails are out, but those holes will remain forever'.

That story will always be in the back of my mind, alongside with what this young girl said. Maybe, if we start calling each other saints, it can work the other way--- ya think?

The most SUCCESSFUL UNSUCCESSFUL event

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor" - Truman Capote

Failure is relative. Of course not when it comes to an exam or anything of the like, but in many cases it is relative. Some people thrive from failures, some stay down, some are motivated, and some just frown. (Didn't mean for that to rhyme, but why not!).

In terms of service to God, several people have different ways of gauging whether they 'succeeded' or 'failed'. If a lot of people showed up, if there were enough chairs, if the prep was done properly, if people were baptized, or anything. God never ceases to amaze me that truly, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiaih 55:8-9

Yesterday in my parish, we held our first big local community event. We planned for a huge outdoor BBQ and a 'Movie under the stars'. We did EVERYTHING to make sure this day was perfect. From Google docs to Google hangouts, from early advertising to last minute Costco runs, we were ready. What we wanted to do was to just show our local community (Stony Point, NY) that WE as the Church were there for them. God cared for us, so we should care for them. We had no hidden agenda, no undercover Bible study, just wanted to share God's love with those around us. So from the preparation to the presentation, (man, i'm on a roll with rhyming today huh!), everything was executed perfectly. We split up into teams for games, decorations, food, welcome table, tour guides, parking, everything. We had pamphlets made, sign in sheets, individually wrapped chocolate. We EVEN had a bouncy house. After prayer and prep, we were ready - at 5:30, we were just waiting for the swarm of people to come in. The plan was to come in, meet some people, enjoy a free BBQ and watch Despicable Me on a huge outdoor movie screen that we rented, next to a bon fire with smores. There was not a detail left undone.

We handed out over 450 flyers, going from house to house and then the local police and fire department, the delis and bagel stores, the ice cream shops and shop rites, we did it all. We even went to the local library to hang up a flyer, and the people who worked there had already heard about the event, it had actually become to talk of the town! Now, what do you think happened? Not a SINGLE person showed up, can you believe that? Let's think about this, if we had spread the word so much and people had agreed to come and even to the point where people knew about it that we didn't advertise to, we would expect AT THE MINIMUM, one or two families. No, not one person from the community showed up. Is that a coincidence? I think the only way possible that nobody came, is that it was an act of God, it must have been. What are the chances that zero people show up, if we had verbal agreements from people, flyers, word of mouth, everything. In my opinion, God didn't want anybody to come that day.

What was my take-away? Unity. Throughout the book of Acts, the phrase 'in one accord' is said many times. That's how our team was. From praying together for no rain, to meetings, to dividing responsibilities, we were on the same page. One thing I'm very proud of, is that the group wasn't discouraged. We ended up eating some food and watching the movie on the lawn anyway, (just to get ready for Despicable Me 2 this week!). God has a plan for this group, a great plan, and I think without this SUCCESS, we wouldn't have seen it. We would've thought we did everything by our own efforts. Yes we would've 'thanked God', but inside we would've been so proud of ourselves.

Food for thought? - "But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good" Gen 50:20. God has different plans than we do most of the time. Whether its to be thrown in a pit to later become a leader - or to have no one show up to your party to later finding space to accommodate 3,000 people - God ALWAYS has a plan. Don't ever give up or be discouraged when you are serving God. So was this a failure? Nah, just one big step in the right direction!

Pentecost 3000 - We're back in 2013!!

"...and the Lord added daily to the church those who were being saved" Acts 2:47




Hello all! I hope everyone is partaking of the Holy 50 days with feasts upon feasts - for your spirit of course, not just body ;)

Now its time to put to practice what we've gained during lent and are absorbing during these Holy 50 Days, which is also known as the Pentecost Period.

Last year, parishes from all over the world, including USA, Canada, Mexico, UK, Kenya, Australia, and many others partook of what the Lord commanded us to do and empowered the disciples and us on the day of Pentecost.

This year, we invite you all to help us continue the work that Jesus Christ started and lets fully anamnesis, (re-live) the Feast of Pentecost!

Excited?! I am! Just imagine if hundreds of parishes throughout the world, held an outreach event to share the love of God with their local communities, all on the same day - Pentecost! The possibilites are ENDLESS to make this Pentecost unforgettable. We'll declare with our actions that famous line of the Orthodox Creed "Yes, we believe in the Holy Spirit", and really see His divine ability to change the world and bring people to know the truth of who Jesus Christ is.

For more info on how to get started, please visit www.pentecost3000.com for all your needs. There is downloadable starter kits, information pamphlets, flyers to advertise, everything you need!

Any other questions, email info@pentecost3000.com

From Protestant to Orthodox - In search for Truth

Christ is Risen! I hope everyone had a blessed Feast of Feasts in celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ! 

I want to share with you a story of a friend named Markus who is Danish by nationality and Coptic Orthodox Christian by faith. I met Markus while celebrating Palm Sunday in the Coptic Church in Denmark, and we began to discuss how he found the Coptic Church and how things have been going for him. Please watch the video above, and I will share some of my thoughts on what he said.

The start of his journey, as he said, was that he was attending a Protestant church for a while but kept leaving 'hungry'. He didn't want to have this feeling. He read in the Bible and tried to, objectively, see what faith today most closely resembles what Christ had instituted. As he continued reading and learned about Orthodoxy, and read the Philokalia and Didache - he found the Orthodox Church to be his new home.

As he explains, when he learned about the Divine Liturgy and the richness of it, he said he always got 'full' and left stuffed, as he would from a 3 hour Danish feast :). This was just one aspect that stood out to him. The full sacramental life and how important it was to us individually as part of our daily lives really resonated with him. It reminds me of something St Gregory of Nazianzus said on Resurrection Feast - "Unless you relive the saving events that happen at the Feast, you have not celebrated it"

I don't want to add too much to what he said, but the last thing that really stuck out to me was about what he felt the most connected with and what key parts drew him to stay. As much as some of us may not agree on this - Language and Culture was a huge barrier for Markus. He explained to me that the priest who he was meeting with didn't take that away from him. He advises young evangelists and says "don't kill the culture, but Christianize it" His example was having a beer, which is a very big part of Danish culture. He says he will have one once in a while, and for him that is important in not feeling stripped of what he was used to. [I'm not saying alcohol was the thing he was used to, and I'm also not saying its okay for everybody, just giving his example;)]

The Bishop who prayed the Feast liturgy used Danish. This means SO much to the natives there. Markus said something that I won't forget. He understands English and Danish, but Danish is his first language. He said "When I hear in English it stays in my mind, but when I hear in Danish, my native language, it reaches my heart and that is very important in Christianity". Its like how some of us may never say a curse word in our native language, but know them in other languages and they flow freely off our tongue - "it doesn't count if its not in English" we'll say. =P

If we want to spread the Love of God and the news of His Resurrection, remember to meet people where they are at. From culture to language to social class to age to sports and favorite foods, there is always a middle ground where we all stand.

Holy Week.. Almost there!

"It is HIS cross that saves us, not ours" - Fr Alexander Schmemann

So, for many Orthodox Christians, Holy Week and Easter is just a week away.. we're almost there guys!

You know how it goes in lent, the first week goes by and you say to yourself, "Gosh this one is gonna be soooo long!" Then when there is a week left, you say to yourself, "I can't believe its almost over!" Well just over a week ago, I had one of those moments - but for a different reason. The latter thought continued like this "I can't believe its almost over, and I haven't benefited!" This is no ones fault other than my own. I was searching around my heart and mind the reason for this, and out of nowhere - BAM, it hit me! There was so much I was doing, but I wasn't actually doing anything.. I was fasting, only felt that I missed out on certain foods, I was praying, just felt that time was passing, I was reading, just as a duty...

I've been in Europe for the past few weeks and have really gotten the chance to spend time alone. (Side note: It was pretty funny actually because I was talking to one of my friends the other day and was telling him that being alone in another country is tough, he responded saying 'yea it must be tough but spend time with yourself', and I clarified saying 'That's not so much the issue, but I literally speak about 20-30 words the whole day!'. Hotel receptionists, waiters, co-workers, all but a few words in English.) Back to what I was saying, spending time alone. So I spoke to my Father of confession telling him that lent is almost over and I don't want it to pass without me gaining anything. He told me to pray more, fast harder, and read more diligently. At first I said okay that's the typical answer, but then I thought about it and it was just what I needed! Not just to simply do the tasks more, but to use them as tools to strengthen my relationship with God, and realize just how much I need His saving-ness. "Save us now!," we will cry out on Palm Sunday, and it isn't until we realize that it isn't because of the prayers or fastings or prostrations that we will receive salvation, but by them we will be able to "see ourselves" and truly notice where we are sick, and be able to go to the True Physician to heal us.

Which leads me back to the beginning quote by Fr Alexander Schmemann, "It is HIS cross that saves us, not ours"... Don't give glory to yourself for being able to abstain for a certain time, or for reading a certain amount, or disciplining your body harshly - for these will only allow you to think you've done something that deserves a reward. God did, is doing, and will do the work for our reward.

I will end on a quote from St John Climacus from Ladder of Divine Ascent on detachment, "Derided, mocked, jeered, you must accept the denial of your will. You must patiently endure opposition, suffer neglect without complain, and put up with violent arrogance. You must not be angered by contempt and you must show humility when you have been condemned. Happy are those who follow this road and avoid other highways. Theirs is the kingdom of Heaven."

Lent! - Woohoo!!

"He who has been able to see himself has accomplished more than one who has seen the angels." - St Isaac the Syrian

So as we begin Lent, I just wanted to think out loud a bit as to what is in store this year.  Lent means different things to different people. Giving up certain foods, practices, routines, among other things. Everyone has experienced different things, grew up in different places, and made their own decisions about what to do during this time. Initially, I thought, there was a cookie-cutter way of doing things --everyone has to abstain till 3pm, no TV, no radio, no meat or dairy-- and we'd be set. Everyone has their own modifications as well, some with cheese, some with milk, etc. This is between the person and their father of confession of course, and is not a bad thing. Its good to personalize it to make it real to us individually. I'm by no means giving any rules or guidelines here, just expressing what I am trying to do this Lent period.

Fr Thomas Hopko wrote a book called Lenten Spring, which discusses the journey of Lent. There are a few reasons it is correlated to Spring. From spring cleaning (getting rid of the junk laying around), to flowers and plants budding and being watered and growth - we can learn so much from this. From the quote above by St Isaac, we can see there comes a lot with knowing who we really are. And this is my focus for lent.

Once we know who we really are, we do that spring cleaning, we will really be able to see where we lack. We may get a lot of advice to focus on reading, alms giving, helping the poor, less TV, this and that - if we focus on everything, we are focusing on nothing. That's what St Isaac was talking about, about seeing ourselves - self examination. If we sit with ourselves and really focus, then we will see what we need to focus on. Some will need to read more, some will need to care for the homeless more, and that's the beauty of it. We shouldn't judge others if they are not doing the same things we are doings - because we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" Ps 139:14

The last thing I want to share is a personal reflection. Way of the Ascetics by Tito Colliander is a pretty rough book in its instruction. One of the chapters called On Obedience was telling the reader to search for opportunities to be obedient, so that we may grow in virtue and submission. My goal is to look at fasting the same way - I don't want to say ''ugghh, the fast is starting'', I want to say "Yes! Lent is here baby, lets do this!" Seeing the importance of fasting, why I personally need it, and seeing the real benefit of it, will make me go through it and really benefit.. what do you guys think?

Also lastly, this is a post called "I want real food" that I wrote last year before lent. Enjoy!

Zambia Mission Trip Video

This is just a small video I put together that captured most of the trip.

The first thing I said when I came back from my first mission trip was "What I learned about serving in Africa is that you don't have to go to Africa to serve" Of course I went back!

What I meant by that is that there is so much going on around us and at times we feel that we just can't do anything. I reached that point and needed to go back to get recharged to better my service back here. This of course doesn't mean we forget about our brothers and sisters abroad.

Whether its your calling to give your life as a missionary in another country, or to experience it a few times - I urge EVERYONE if God gives you the opportunity to go on a trip anywhere to serve, DO IT! Just don't stop when you get back home, it should be just the beginning!

For more information about serving in Africa, visit http://www.copticmission.org

or email me any questions:  samuel.beshara@gmail.com

The heart of a child - Lessons from Zambia

Click to watch my interview with him!

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" - 1 John 3:1

How awesome is that? Looking into the original Greek word for children is the word τέκνον pronounced tek-non. It doesn't just mean child - but it more accurately means someone who depends upon something. More leaning towards a child rather than a son/daughter. 

If you check out the video here, my friend Rapson allowed me to interview him shortly on his life in Zambia and what the Church has done for him.

Before I get more into it, just a little background of the service in Zambia. The Coptic Church has a health clinic, (free to those who can't afford it) a school, (also free to those who can't afford it) and most importantly an open heart to anyone who needs comfort.

Upon asking him what the Church has done for him, he talks about the school, learning, etc.. and closes with saying "teaches us to be a good servant". I continued with other questions, but in my mind I was screaming, WHHATTT?!? How old is this kid? This is what he thinks about? When I was 11 years old I was picking my nose and playing Super Mario Bros. It's pretty amazing that he is on this thinking level, but let's take a step back and see what caused this.

He said the Church has helped him learn these things and give him a home among other things. I would rather focus on how we can do that, as opposed to criticizing our kids and churches here, especially the latter.  We would see a video like this, or hear it anywhere, that churches provide many things for people, and we could just become bitter towards our church that it may not do the same things, and leave it at that. 

What about the fact that WE are called to be the church? Yes, we may not have all the resources to start our own school or hospital, but look past that. When can we become the place for nourishment for yearning souls? When can we become the well to draw from? When can we become what we are called to be like - created in the Image of God? "God is LOVE" 1 John 4:16

"For to love is to give, give until it hurts. Because when we have nothing, God becomes everything" - Mama Maggie

Freedom in Prison - Lessons from Zambia

Fr Abraham preaching to prisoners in Zambia - click for video!

"It was the first time in my life that I felt prisoners had more freedom than I did" - that was the thought that kept resonating in my mind as soon as we walked out of that prison.

Just a few days ago, I returned from a mission trip to Zambia where I spent just under two weeks. I will spend the next few posts talking about the amazing experience I had, not only to share it with others but also to not just make it an experience for me but something to bring back and turn into daily life practice.

"How could I bring a mission trip back home?" was a question I had asked myself since my first mission trip to Kenya in 2009. I had my thoughts and tried a few things, even had some success (in my own opinion) - but there was something else.  I learned the full answer to that question this past trip, upon meeting one of the greatest guys I now know, Fr Abraham. Fr Abraham is a missionary who lives in Zambia with his wife Dalia and their son, Josiah. They moved to Zambia about 7 years ago after hearing God's call for them. Maybe I'll spend another post on them and their journey, but maybe after I get permission from them :).

I learned about two prisons when I was in Zambia. First, the actual prison we went to visit. We had a hard time getting in and bringing all the other missionaries in, so we prayed kept our head up, and about an hour later they let us in! Once we were in, it was a different world. We were praising God like no other. We sang some songs, did a skit, and shared some messages. (Refer to video for Fr Abraham's message above). Everyone was so eagerly sitting and listening to the Word of God. Fr Abraham was telling them about freedom and forgiveness and God's mercy and that we are all deserving of a second chance. "If you want to be free, make Jesus' presence known inside this prison" That statement led to cheering and clapping and revival inside! After this, Fr Abraham prayed for everyone enclosed in those walls, and I have never felt a prayer like that in my life. The best (or worst) part about it, is that it was nothing I haven't heard before. The best because such simple words, with a simple accepting heart like those in the prison, can do WONDERS! The worst part, is because those words have become numb to me.. but not that day. "These are Your children, you can never abandon them.. put Your hand of Mercy and Grace upon them".. Those words have never left my ears since then, and why?

That's my second prison - the prison I live in. Being so caught up in the world back here, so numb to HUGE promises from God, and not noticing it for a second.. So back to my original question of "How could I bring a mission trip back home?" - That's what I learned from Fr Abraham and his wife Dalia. The simplicity of God and obeying His word will change your life. That's why when I saw them, it seemed as though they had been there for just a week, not 7 years. Why? Their love for God, acceptance of His promises, and their obedience to Him no matter what, has given them such zeal and passion to serve Him faithfully and with a huge smile :)

Life or Death?

Once, a monk asked St Macarius of Egypt how one could be saved. He instructed the monk to go to the graves and curse the dead buried there. The monk went and cursed and stoned the dead's graves. St. Macarius then asked him, "Did they answer you back?" The monk answered "no." He told the monk, "Go tomorrow and praise the dead instead." Again the monk went and highly praised the dead. St. Macarius again asked the monk if they answered him back, he replied "no." Then St Macarius told him, "If you have really died with Christ and were buried with Him, be like those dead people, because curses or praises do not affect the dead. This is how you can be saved."

Sound kinda weird, huh? A few friends of mine were having a discussion about monasticism the other day, and whether the same 'rules' apply to us who are not called to that life. It was interesting to see where each person was coming from. I didn't know where I stood exactly. I'm more of a people-person, I like social gatherings, and FIFA '13 of course - so I thought "No way!" Then I started to think about it a little more, and two major things hit me that made me realize we MUST have in common with the monastic life.

First, the basic rules of monasticism are - poverty, chastity, and obedience. Are these rules that can only be followed by isolating myself in the middle of the desert? Of course not. There are many ways we can practice this in our every day lives. From not being money-obsessed and lust-driven to listening to our parents. The list goes on and on.

Secondly, going back to the story of St Macarius, there is much we can take away from 'being like those dead people'. There is a great mystery we can learn from death, particularly the death of Jesus. Wanna know what it is?... LIFE. There it is - mysteriously hidden in the tombs..LIFE. Not to say we have to die to the world just as they did and leave it, but we have to 'die' to it in a sense where we can really experience life. If we become so tied down to what is here where "moth and rust destroy" Matthew 6:19, then we can hardly see what all the hype is about.

Fr Thomas Hopko always says that, "Orthodoxy in its fullness is evident when we fully live life". Who said its boring? Who said its for when we get old? Who said its not for the young college kid tryin' to have fun? If we have no sense of our humanity, the parts we want fully alive and the parts we have to put to 'death', then we will never have a sense of God's divinity.

Is that your final answer?

Today was one of those days. Actually, its been like this the past few days.  If you're from the Northeast region of the United States, you know what I'm talking about.

You know when you wake up in the morning, look outside your window to see how the weather is - you see a little bit of frost on your car, slight wind, remember that its September - you tell yourself its going to be a cold day. So what do you do? You wear a sweater, or a light jacket, bring an umbrella, and head off to work or school. You go through your morning, and when you step out for lunch, its 85 degrees all of a sudden, and you are sweating in your winter clothes! I dont know about you guys, but that always annoyed me! Just like that guy you see walking around campus - every university has one, when its snowing outside and you have a hat and gloves on, and that kid.. that annoying kid who wears shorts no matter what! He didn't do anything to me personally, but I just get so annoyed with him!

Every time the weather gets like that, one thing comes to my mind - me letting down Jesus. Why? "O Ephraim, what shall I do to you? O Judah, what shall I do to you? For your faithfulness is like a morning cloud, and like the early dew it goes away." Hosea 6:4b. This verse hits home for me. Usually I put in my name in the verse to really take something from it. Imagine God telling me "Sam, what shall I do to you?.." Its a little more meaningful, no? It is as if God is sighing and is like that parent who after several times we've messed up, doesn't know what else to do.

Along the same lines as my last post, this topic has been on my mind lately. Am I in or am I out - I just need to make a decision. No more of "I'm in!" followed by actions opposing that idea. God took a firm stand for us, and we should do the same for him. There are many, many temptations out there - but we need to put one thing in front of us only, so we can see everything else through it - Jesus giving up His life for us.

On giving commentary on the book of Ephesians, St John Chrysostom says "this being His will, we are the object of His earnest wish". Christ set His eyes on the prize, which was us. Everything He did and said was for us - everything! Can we say the same for Him?

To be or not to be?

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day" E.B. White

One of my good friends and I were talking about different ways to serve those around us, and she said this quote above. Once I read it, BAM! It just sunk in really quick, and made things so clear.

Normally, we like things to be in the gray area. We don't like the "If you're not with us you're against us" mentality.  We like to play both sides of the spectrum at times, and we think it helps us out in the long run - but we are only hurting ourselves! Speaking from personal experience, learn from my mistakes, please! I used to 'enjoy the world' and then try to 'improve' it - thinking I'm cancelling out the stuff I did wrong, and boy was that a wrong mentality! I managed to get myself into thinking that it was true, imagine that? A conscience that I forced to give in to the checks and balances idea, and more harmfully, got me thinking God was like that too. "Let me just do more good than bad, and I'll be alright" - WRONG!

Many of us heard the verse from the book of Revelation about being lukewarm, here is it from the Message translation to give a little different perspective, "I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot - far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit." Rev 3:15. Sounds a bit harsh right? We need to hear this sometimes because we get into the trap of telling ourselves something to ease our consciences and in the long run end up confused when we find ourselves in a ditch.

We need to realize this, and make a clear cut decision. Are we going to improve the world, or enjoy it? We CANNOT do both, plain and simple. Make up as many excuses as we want, and they will be just that - excuses. I will be the first to publicly admit my fault in this, and I need to keep reminding myself of this quote to make it a reality. We need to be a little harder on ourselves and tell ourselves "if we are not with God, we are against Him" - while always keeping in mind but not taking advantage of the fact that we see God's love for us when He says "For he who is not against us, is on our side" Mark 9:40

Is Orthodoxy too old?

"There exists today the transformation of the fathers into 'authorities' simply to be quoted for a formal justification of ideas, affirmations, and even 'theologies' whose roots and presuppositions may have very little, if anything, to do with the Orthodox faith. There exists today manuals of Orthodox systematic theology with Patristic references and quotations on virtually every page and which, in spite of this, contain the most 'western' and 'scholastic' type of theology I can think of." - Alexander Schmemann

Wow.. that's a bit rough, huh? This quote jumped out at me in a book I'm reading now called Church World Mission by Alexander Schmemann. The main idea behind this book is to answer the question he poses, "What is the destiny of the Orthodox Church in this second half of the twentieth century, in a world and culture radically different from those that shaped the Orthodox mentality, thought-forms, and lifestyles of the past?" I think that many of us today are quickly resorting to the "oh but that's so old" excuse.  Whether it be Tradition of how things are done, rites in the Church, keeping fasting and prayer times, etc. There are so many things that this generation can point out and quickly discredit, that people in the past have dedicated their lives to protecting, and dying for it - isn't that wrong?

I find myself feeling saddened and encouraged at the same time. Saddened, by people feeling that they are disconnected from the Orthodox faith because of its ancientness - and encouraged to find people believing the exact opposite. Some may think that Orthodoxy cannot be applied to this era because of how old it is, but on the contrary, BECAUSE of how old it is, it SHOULD most definitely be more apparent now - because it gives us a more clear authentic view on who God is, and who the Church is.

The reason for the initial quote above, is because I feel many of us today have a skewed view on Orthodoxy. There are two sides to this problem, I feel. First, sadly disregarding so quickly thoughts and beliefs and Traditions from the past, for the sole reason of its age. Secondly, those who like Fr Schmemann stated, think Orthodoxy is a bunch of quotations from people before us. You will hear it and have probably heard it a million times, Orthodoxy is a way of life - not for us to hide behind quotes or knowledge or books (those are there for us to know and have a better understanding of many things in the past that the church fathers were enlightened and wrote down for us) but to actually live in this way of clarity of who God is and the Church and the Sacraments - and the best way is continual study of books written by these great people before us known as church fathers.

Don't be fooled by the quick fixes and emotional spikes the world may offer - this can lead to our relationship with God in sync with our emotions, up when things are good and down when things are bad. Rather, like St  John of Kronstadt says - Orthodoxy is like a garden that we cultivate and work at and water and see the beautiful pasture and fruits that it will bring.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

  

   
    I love watching remakes of old movies! I got to see Snow White and the Huntsman this past week with my brother and cousins. The cool part is when they look at the story from a different angle, or another character’s perspective. Of course there is always a little love story in there, but what really stood out to me was the Queen. I’m not evil or siding with her, but she interested me the most. 
     We've all heard the famous quote from the movie that says “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” – The Queen only wants to hear one answer "You, my Queen, are fairest of all". If she'd ever hear anything else, it wouldn't be a happy day - like when she found out that Snow White was 'fairer' than her. 
     I do this ALL the time... well, I don't quite talk directly to my mirror, but you know what I mean =). We just hate to hear the reality of things nowadays. Whether it be a loved one in a rough situation, or a truth about someone that we just don't want to believe - but I want to focus more on ourselves. I heard a great quote that said "Irresponsibility is the hardest thing to see in the mirror". I had to think about this one for a while, and it's very very true. People can come down on themselves and say things like 'I need to work harder at this' or 'I keep procrastinating, but I'll get it done', but we seldom tell ourselves, 'I know what it is, I'm just irresponsible".  Now, if you know me, I wasn't the most responsible person just some years ago (some will argue that I still am not, and Dad - I can hear you in the back of my head right now!) 
     There just comes a point in our lives where we have to realize what we do affects the people around us. Unless we live in a cave and interact with absolutely nobody, everything we do has somewhat an effect on those around us - our irresponsibility usually becomes another's responsibility. I tried to find who to point the finger at, but it always ended up being directed back to me. I learned this the hard way throughout college, and am still learning throughout the workforce. 
     Buoyancy - remember that word from physics? I heard a great analogy of a biblical principle that can be seen easily here. St Paul says in Galatians 6:7 ".. a man reaps what he sows". I don't need to be all-knowing to understand that if I don't study for an exam, that I probably won't do that well, or if I smoke cigarettes that it can cause damage to my body. If bad things come across our lives, we usually look up to God right away and blame Him, or better yet - question Him. Why does God do this or allow me to lose my job - He probably hates me. On the contrary, its because He LOVES us so much, that He gave us this principle beforehand so we can abide by it! Now what does this have to do with buoyancy? That's the principle in physics that determines whether something will float or sink. Some things in our life either sink, or they float - we don't necessarily have to correlate them to bad and good, but it's just a principle. Just like when people build boats and ships, they have to abide by that rule. God isn't sitting up in heaven and pointing saying "you can float, you sink, sink sink, float, etc" It is just a principle - if the builder adheres to it, it will float every time. Sometimes we need to just take responsibility for certain things and quit playing the blame game with God.
     The last thing I just want to touch on is something that we may not have thought as a responsibility, but is very essential as a Christian - and that is sharing the Good News with others. Understood, some people are meant to be in the spotlight on stage, some hold the lights, some do the backstage work - but that does not excuse any of them from having the same goal, which is to be a part of sharing a great show. St John Chrysostom says, "Each one is responsible for the salvation of his neighbor" If we look at it like our salvation depends on the salvation of others, then it is our full responsibility as sons and daughters of Christ, to share Him with everyone we encounter. After all, who would enjoy a wedding feast if they were all alone?

Making your misery your ministry

Have you ever watched those infomercials late at night that seem so genius, and applicable to the problems you have? Whether it be weight loss pills, a new blender, the SHAM-WOW!, or a snuggie - to me (and I know many will disagree, especially about the snuggie) its great advertising! Seriously, they get a Vanna White-esque person to tell you about a new pen with a voice recorder and a camera... and you buy it! (Because for some reason that night, you think you work undercover in the CIA). In the end, they all end up in a drawer somewhere.

I can't fall for those anymore - they never seem to do what they tell you they are for! To us, it is one of those "Man, I've been saying we should come out with one of those for the past ten years!" And the reason we are dissatisfied at the end, is that on the outside, it looks like something its not - yet we are so convinced that it is.

Sadly, no matter how much we try - we fall for things like this every single day on the other side of the spectrum. We see a fight in a marriage, a lost job, a sickness, a rape, a death of a loved one, as the worst things in the world. Rightly so, they can be the worst things in the world. Do you think God settles for the worst things to happen to us? Or more accurately, would God just leave us to our misery when we need Him the most? One of the many reasons I love God - is that no matter of a bad situation, or good situation, He can make the best out of anything. We hear Joseph telling his brothers "What you meant for evil, God intended for good." Gen 50:20. Did God want him to get thrown into a pit, sold, imprisoned, etc? Maybe or maybe not, but what we do know is that no matter what situation Joseph was in, God tried to make the best out of it.

People reciprocate better when they know how they are viewed. The same way we see something on TV and buy it, and it comes in ten times smaller than it actually is, is the same way we see a lay-off from a job as a financial chaos, while God sees it as an opportunity to work. If we understand how God looks at situations rather than how we look at it, our perspective on life will completely change. Two things I heard that I wont forget - "Turn your prison into a pulpit" and "Make your misery your ministry". If we see that God can make good out of us, we wont be throwing any more pity parties and then wonder why God isn't doing anything.

I PROMISE you that if we get this point, then our relationship with God will go to a new level. A priest told me once that I should desire to go from LOVE to LIKE. You know how if a guy or a girl has a crush on each other, in the beginning stages when you like them, and they like you, but you didn't formally tell each other yet - but you both kinda know anyway - there is always a little more thrill to that than seeing 40 years of marriage 'in love' and just going through the motions. The 'liking' stage can seem more lively than the 'loving' stage. I think its for this exact reason, St John reminds us that we have left our first love - losing our excitement or zeal. Sometimes we need to go 'backwards' to go forwards. Why else would God tell us that if we want to go to heaven we must go back to being like a child?

Finally, I read a great quote that if you think about, will get us to change our perspective and start seeing things for what they actually are.

"One day we will be old enough to read fairy tales again" C.S. Lewis

The Holy Spirit is here!! - now what?

“The Saviour and the Comforter, two Persons of the Godhead: the One ever saves from sins, and the Other comforts him who is saved. Their very names are taken from their deeds, and are always actually justified. He comforts! The Holy Spirit comforts the believing soul, as a mother comforts her child.”
St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ

One of my favorite feasts, Pentecost! Comfort is one of most needed feelings this day and age. We had a great weekend serving in "Pentecost 3000" which you can read more about this week on my friend Mena Mirhom's blog. Anyway - everyone needs comfort in their lives. Whether it be because they lost a job, lost a loved one, going through a rough time, or need some encouragement - comfort is the greatest support. God knew this and for that very reason, sent us the Comforter (Paraclete), as St John of Kronstadt says that after Christ saves us from sin and death, the Holy Spirit comforts him who is saved - (not 'saved in a moment' - rather the Orthodox concept of 'was saved, being saved, and will be saved'). So I am thankful that Christ said "It is good for you that I am going away"-John 16:7

So now that the Holy 50 days are over - now what? We were all on our spiritual high during lent, and even more so in Holy Pascha Week, and celebrated new life with Christ during the Joyous 50 days of Resurrection and we're all kinda back to our normal grind, right? Are we the same person we were on Good Friday? or Resurrection Feast? I'm not - and Christ knew that also. I think that's why He waited almost 2 months and then wanted to send us a reminder.  We read in the 3rd hour of the Agbeya "renew Him within us" - and I think the Church in Her wisdom did it exactly for that. Some of us may have fell off that peak we hit during Holy Week and Resurrection, and we needed to be reminded - and the Holy Spirit did just that.

We need the Holy Spirit to renew our zeal so we see He is just as alive as He was in the book of Acts. Christ says that He wont leave us orphans - and says "because I am alive and you're about to come alive" (John 14:20, MSG). About to come alive! I love that translation. The Holy Spirit is come to make us alive and renewed - which is why St Paul says in Acts 20 (my FAVORITE passage in Acts) Speaking about him being compelled by the Spirit - to be crazy. He says "being led by the Spirit not knowing the things that will happen to me there. except that the Holy Spirit testifies that in every city chains and tribulations await me. But none of these things move me" vs 22-24.

That is the renewed Spirit I'm praying for - to be able to be so confident that the Holy Spirit is with us, comforting us, and on our side. So we can be just as bold as St Paul and not care whether trials or tribulations await us - and go big. 

Why I didn't blog on Monday

I love my YouVersion Bible App! It's like that little angel that sits on your shoulder telling you what you should and shouldn't do - in an app! I get to pick a reading plan that's good for me, check off when I'm done - and get reminders when I fall behind!

And that's why I didn't blog on Monday, as I normally do.  I've been very behind on my reading. I'm not talking about just reading to check off a list - but real, sit down, one on one with God, quiet time kinda reading.  You wanna know what the worst part is? The distractions are not big outside issues, they are more 'busybody' type distractions. I think this goes back to the Mary vs Martha discussion.

I just picked up a book a few weeks ago called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.  It's a great read so far - (Yes, i'm behind on that as well!). It talks about the misconception many people have with running around and doing services here and there, and also talks about the other side where God doesn't want someone just sitting in their room their whole life praying about things and changes, when we could be the ones doing it!

One of the best things I've heard a great man say before was, "Don't let prayer be a scapegoat". At first, I said to myself "Heathen!!" - then I came to my senses and realized there is much more behind this phrase. We can sit and pray and read and pray and read and fast about things and look for answers, when God is telling us to get up and do it! Bishop Paul of Mission Affairs in Africa said this to a few people - when they were inquiring about going to Africa.  They had the time off, the money, the group, everything - but they said "Lets pray about it". Now don't get me wrong, I'm NOT saying that is wrong - but when that is given as an answer too much, it may appear to be a 'scapegoat' from doing what God is asking us to do, no?

On the other side, serving too much without down-time is not beneficial either. We can be blinded by the fact we are doing so much that we may think we're okay. When all we are doing is forgetting about the inside of the cup.

Balance is very imporant, which is one of the key principles this book talks about.  It was said of St Gregory of Nazianzus that "His ideal of Christian perfection was a balance between action and contemplation. He sought to embody this ideal by alternating between periods of active ministry and solitary, prayerful, scholarly contemplation."

I need to focus on not overloading one side of the scale - do you feel this way as well? Is there one side of the scale that is taking over?