Is Jesus asleep on your boat?

"Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!'" Matthew 8:23-25

There are times in our lives where things are going so hectic and not according to our plans and just ruin everything, and all we want to do is say "Jesus, where are you!?" Haven't we all felt at times that Jesus was asleep on a pillow in the midst of our problems? Ever feel like you're boat was 'covered with waves'? If you think the ideal Christian life is one where there are no problems and no feeling of abandonment, I would have to disagree. If you've ever felt struggles, isolation, or deserted - you're in good company. Jesus, St Paul, Mother Teresa, and many others have felt like that - and its absolutely normal!

A great story I heard once illustrates the sense of the peace and calm I'm trying to focus on.  There was once a king who asked his countrymen to draw what 'peace' really meant. Many people brought to him many paintings - doves, rainbows, beaches, flowers.. but it just didn't settle with him.  Then he saw one drawing - it looked like a mess. There wasn't a single blank space on the painting. It was a mixture of colors and storms and wars and earthquakes and everything. Just in the center of all this chaos was a small tree, with a small branch, with a small nest, with a mother bird covering her egg. This was the image he chose to hang in his palace. He knew that the real sense of peace and comfort came along with the storm, not apart from it.

"There was such a terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead" Mother Teresa writes in Come Be My Light. At times, she may not have felt God's presence in her life, but others surely have. This is a great reflection of the true Apostolic Faith - service to others and obedience to God, no matter how we feel. If God only loved us when we were 'good' to Him, boy would that story be short.

I pray I can understand and really live according to this mentality. If we were faithful only during the times we had a reason to be, then it wouldn't be faith at all - it would be logic. Its those dark times which when we would be faithful, is when we can move mountains and stir the hearts of others - they wouldn't understand why we feel this way in the tough situation we may be faced with, which is all the more reason to believe.

"If my separation from You brings others to You, and in their love and company You find joy and pleasure, why , Jesus, I am willing with all my heart to suffer all that I suffer - not only for now but for eternity - if this was possible." Mother Teresa

If God uses the bad in our life for good, then why can't we?

Is that your final answer?

Today was one of those days. Actually, its been like this the past few days.  If you're from the Northeast region of the United States, you know what I'm talking about.

You know when you wake up in the morning, look outside your window to see how the weather is - you see a little bit of frost on your car, slight wind, remember that its September - you tell yourself its going to be a cold day. So what do you do? You wear a sweater, or a light jacket, bring an umbrella, and head off to work or school. You go through your morning, and when you step out for lunch, its 85 degrees all of a sudden, and you are sweating in your winter clothes! I dont know about you guys, but that always annoyed me! Just like that guy you see walking around campus - every university has one, when its snowing outside and you have a hat and gloves on, and that kid.. that annoying kid who wears shorts no matter what! He didn't do anything to me personally, but I just get so annoyed with him!

Every time the weather gets like that, one thing comes to my mind - me letting down Jesus. Why? "O Ephraim, what shall I do to you? O Judah, what shall I do to you? For your faithfulness is like a morning cloud, and like the early dew it goes away." Hosea 6:4b. This verse hits home for me. Usually I put in my name in the verse to really take something from it. Imagine God telling me "Sam, what shall I do to you?.." Its a little more meaningful, no? It is as if God is sighing and is like that parent who after several times we've messed up, doesn't know what else to do.

Along the same lines as my last post, this topic has been on my mind lately. Am I in or am I out - I just need to make a decision. No more of "I'm in!" followed by actions opposing that idea. God took a firm stand for us, and we should do the same for him. There are many, many temptations out there - but we need to put one thing in front of us only, so we can see everything else through it - Jesus giving up His life for us.

On giving commentary on the book of Ephesians, St John Chrysostom says "this being His will, we are the object of His earnest wish". Christ set His eyes on the prize, which was us. Everything He did and said was for us - everything! Can we say the same for Him?

Community - that's where it all started.

     One week after celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.. how do you feel?! All churched out? Giving yourself the extra notch on your belt from all the food? Yes, I feel a little similar as well :) How should we really feel? The whole pinnacle of our faith is based on this event. St Paul says, "And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins" 1 Cor 15:17.  St Gregory of Nazianzus calls it the "Feast of Feasts". What do you call it? Or better yet, how do you live it?
     A big emphasis I keep trying to focus on is living the true Christian life.  The reason I'm doing so, is to help remind myself of things I need to do and focus on, as well as help my brothers and sisters who are in the same boat.  St Athanasius emphasizes that a spiritual life without a liturgical life is lacking much, and a liturgical life without a spiritual life is just rituals.  They can't be separated, and the Orthodox Church really puts a big emphasis on this in many aspects - liturgical worship, communal prayer, fellowship, and community.  Community is something that seems so easy to have, but if not taken care of, will reveal the opposite of what it should be!
     I am really excited about the new St. Timothy and St. Athanasius Church starting this weekend in Arlington, VA - Fr Anthony Messeh discusses it here. This church, as well as every other, should be a welcoming home for any person.  I'm not talking about the building, I'm talking about the 'Church' that Christ is the head of - yes, us. We must be able to really represent the body of Christ, which He gave for all. My favorite contemplation on the Cross is that Christ was nailed with His arms wide open, just to emphasize the fact that everyone is welcome, unable to pull it closed.
     St Athanasius in one of his Festal Letters that is sent out every Resurrection Feast, says "For this is the marvel of His loving-kindess, that He should gather together in the same place those who are at a distance; and make those who appear to be far off in the body, to be near together in unity of spirit." I love that! We all know the CEO Christians (Christmas Easter only), so did St Athanasius.  That is exactly why he chose this to be part of the message to be delivered on the Feast of Resurrection - to emphasize that community is an essential part of the Feast. It all started when Christ took our flesh to be among us, it all started with community.
     With that being said, let's do something about it. I function well with having deadlines and goals, so maybe it will help a few others, too.  During these Joyous Fifty Days of Resurrection, let's put an emphasis on the Community in our Church (whether it be actual church or yourselves), to make us more welcoming and loving to all, which will in turn create a whole new congregation - and even generation of a place where anyone can look to us and say "I want what they have." - because we have Christ in us. And the best thing about it, is we can give what we've freely received.

Walk by Faith...

And yet to those who read with knowledge, a great truth is to be found in each. For it is difficult for interpreters to differ so widely as not to touch at some point. Accordingly here, as understanding consists in sight, and is abiding, but faith feeds us as babes, upon milk, in the cradles of temporal things for now we walk by faith, not by sight; as, moreover, unless we walk by faith, we shall not attain to sight, which does not pass away, but abides, our understanding being purified by holding to the truth;—for these reasons one says, "If ye will not believe, ye shall not understand;" but the other, "If ye will not believe, ye shall not abide." - Saint Augustine, On Christian Doctrine
How do we do it? To walk by faith, is to fully live being confident of whats ahead of us; in the belief of the existence of unseen realities; and to actually have an affect on us as if they were seen.
The Christian has a firm conviction of the reality of the glories of heaven; of the fact that the Redeemer is there; of the fact that there is a crown of glory; and he lives and acts as if that were all real, and as if he saw it all. The simple account of faith, and of living by faith is, that we live and act as if these things were true. - Anonymous

To back track a little, what is faith? St Paul defines it in Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the subtance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews Chapter 11 continues to show us what Faith has done from the time of Adam to King David. "By faith... By faith.. By faith..." St Paul shows us how the all-stars of the Old Testament did what they had to do, and at times what they didnt want to do, but faith guided them. What does the Epistle of St James say? "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead" - James 2:26 He is comparing it to actual death! How important than is the concept of faith, and living by it, and walking by it, and doing all things through it?
When you pray, or read, or listen to the Word of God, have faith in it. Believe in the things you are saying, reading, or hearing. Believe that these words can change you and that your prayers will be heard, and that God will accept you. Have faith when you repent and confess, that your sins will be forgiven and that God will accept your repentance. Believe in His words, and He will believe in your faith...
"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" - Hebrews 11:6

Quiet Time...

I know its been a long time since I have written, I apologize. There is just so much I have to say that I didn't know where to begin!

This summer I had the greatest opportunity to travel to Kenya and serve there with H.G. Bishop Paul. Going there, I thought something completely different than I had actually experienced.

Let me just jump right into it. They had a daily schedule for us to follow at the monastery, which I'll try to summarize. Wake up at 7. 7-8:30 quiet time, 8:30-10 praise and worship/bible study, 10-11 breakfast, 11-6 SERVICE, 6-7:30 quiet time. 8-9:30 praise and worship/bible study, 9:30 dinner, 10 praise and worship/tasbeha/sleep.

If you could tell, there were 3 hours of quiet time per day in the schedule. At first I thought it was a joke. How could I read the bible and sit in quiet and meditate on a couple of verses for so long!

I never absorbed the term 'quiet time' before. I mean I would do my daily readings (or try at least), put my bible away, and call it a day. After a week or so following the schedule and being woken up everyday to sit in like 2 hours of quiet, was kind of exhausting (physically and spiritually). I thought to myself, "Why am I waking up early, to sit in quiet?"

I tried to follow as diligently as I could, skipping a day here and there, thinking I was just doing an assignment. After about 10 days, I thought again, "Why am I just reading this and not even benefiting?" From hearing Bishop Paul and others about reflections on quiet time, I began to take it a little more seriously. Bishop Paul would say "How can you go out and serve and give during the day, without being filled first?" Also, they would emphasize that the point of quiet time is to hear God's personal message for you. I never knew what this meant until the day after I decided to take quiet time seriously. Even though mostly all of us were following the same St Mark's DC quiet time schedule, I felt the message and reading was directly to me, solely and nobody else. After this had happened, I was never as excited to read the Bible as I was now. I would have never thought when I woke up that I would be anxious to read the Bible, it was a crazy thought!

God bless the people that have been doing this out of their heart, but unfortunately I needed it to hit me directly for me to start taking it seriously. So in quiet time, sit in quiet for a little before reading. It cleared my mind of anything and everything, ready to absorb the Word of God and hear not only with my ears or eyes but with my heart. The quiet time that changed my life was from Revelations chapter 3 about the Lukewarm church. Knowing myself, I learned a lot about myself (well actually that its not knowing myself at all). And if God was able to speak to me and I was able to hear it, and accept it, and yearn to listen to His voice everyday, than anybody can do it...

"Now Moses used to take the tent and pitch it outside the camp, for of from the camp; he called it the tent of meeting. And everyone who sought the Lord would go out to the tent of meeting which was outside the camp." Exodus 33:7-8

Even Moses did quiet time!! He set his tent OUTSIDE THE CAMP, away from all distractions, so he was able to hear the Word of God. Let us go outside our camp, away from our comfort zone, and close the door of our room, and open the door of our hearts..